*What follows is the true and complete story of the first time I experienced a full-on DMT trip. As it turns out, the brain's receptors that allow humans to have a completely dissociative, eyes-closed and comatose experience on DMT (what I was chasing...) take 45-90 minutes to reset after even one hit. I was not aware of this fact at the time in which the following events transpired. Dissatisfied with my small-dose trials, I had quickly ramped up the dosage and in retrospect this was a bad idea. It is my current belief that I had overloaded my DMT receptors prior to this experience and rather than visiting another universe, I stayed in this one... but had a mind-bending experience in this dimension beyond the wildest imagination of the most creative person to ever live. The preceding events can be found in an entry titled "DMT and Me" on my other blog at www.unappliedsciences.blogspot.com.*
..I returned to my room with six doses, a fresh pipe, and the pipe we had used initially which I figured still had some DMT resin in it. Setting up shop on my bedside table, I crumbled some "pipe filler" into the bowl and then sprinkled six doses of DMT on top. It seemed like a good idea to get some oxygen into my bloodstream so I did a few brief hyper-ventilations before aggressively hitting the resinous mass in the first pipe, which produced a surprising amount of smoke. I felt the familiar mushroom-esque feelings wash over me as I reached for the second pipe, loaded with six doses. Exhaling my first hit quickly, I took no breath at all before putting my lips to the six-dose cannon and taking a huge rip, which I held for about five seconds and then slowly allowed to escape my lungs. I went back for a third hit and about two seconds thereafter, things took a turn for the peculiar...
Suddenly I was quite aware of a burning sensation in my lips and mouth, so I glanced down towards the pipe I was hitting and the "cherry" in the bowl was glowing in about eight different shades of red, green and yellow - it looked like glistening, neon rock candy. Releasing the flame from the lighter, I exhaled my hit as I glanced up at the moonlit room around me. Instantly I was slammed with the single most intense, confusing, and interesting moment of my life. Every flat surface in the room was glimmering with pulsing, rhythmic shots of dim light that seemed to flow over them like water. The best way I can describe it is the scene at the end of The Matrix where Neo gets shot and he sees the world around him as green binary code and realizes he's "The One". In retrospect, the visual effects were quite intriguing but they fell to the wayside of what started happening inside my head.
As the DMT took ahold of my brain, it was as though my conciousness expanded to the size of a city block (which is a very weird feeling indeed because it was the first time I had ever thought about the "size" of my conciousness). It felt as if I could sense everything that was happening within a 100 yard radius of me and in my "minds eye" I saw a "radar" of sorts that pulsed to the same rhythm as the surfaces of the room. It was NUTS.
All accuracy of the "radar" aside, it was at this point such an intense experience that I decided I needed to close my eyes and put my head down on the pillow. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened when I closed my eyes.
The pulsing forces continued behind my eyelids, except instead of flowing over every surface in the room they were just blasting out into the space that I was hovering in - which was in the center of a geodesic dome (think Epcot ball) that was dark inside except for where electricity pulsed through it at the same rate as my heartbeat . Remembering that I had a body for the first time since taking the first hit, it felt like I was being pushed and pulled in/from every direction simultaneously. The feelings and sights were absolutely overwhelming and too surreal, so I threw my eyes back open in the hopes that a dose of reality would center me...
The world I met when I opened my eyes was the same on that I had pulled my eyelids over just seconds before, but everything was even more intense than it had been just seconds before. I developed a pervasive feeling of anxiety when I realized that I was still "coming up" on DMT so to speak and I remember thinking "I'm in way over my head, what the hell was I thinking taking six doses? My brain!!"
Just then, the veteran cosmonaut in me spoke up and suggested that I stand up and walk off the remaining few minutes of the experience since I tend to calm down when I pace back and forth.
I took my own advice and quickly clambored to my feet and then into my bathroom, flipping on the light as I entered.
The environment had been very (physically) dark prior to flicking the light switch, and the illuminated bathroom hit me like a linebacker.
Instead of bringing me closer to reality, the vision of my brightly-lit bathroom only intensified the feeling that I was in another world and it this point, I truly began to slip into a dream world. All human thoughts about mundane things like who I was, where I was and what I was doing literally shut down. I became confused for a moment and then there were literally no further thoughts about what things were or that people existed. I was not a human being. This was not my house. This was not my life. I was quite simply a soul experiencing a very intense moment in time that happened to be occurring. I cannot stress enough that all connection with rational thought evaded me and despite my efforts to sort through what was left of my conciousness, I found myself on a psychedelic rollercoaster with no idea how I had ended up there. For the moment I had completely forgotten that I had taken DMT or that DMT even existed or that I even existed. I just was. I stood in the center of my bathroom with my eye fixed on nothing in particular and words simply cannot describe what happened during the next... shit, who knows?... five or six minutes it felt like. I don't know because this part of the trip was truly fleeting - not unlike a dream - which is in keeping with a lot of research regarding the subject.
When I began making memories again, I was leaned against the half-wall that surrounds my shower, staring at the water flowing from one of the showerheads to my left. Flat surfaces were still pulsing and geometric but I was coming down. I remember thinking "Okay, you took DMT and god damn was that shit crazy, but you're through the worst of it, good job." And then I just stood there. Watching the water run across the shower floor and listening to it cascade over the tile. I stared at it for at least a minute, coming back to reality and decision what to do next. I felt mindblown. More so than ever before on any substance. But even that subsided...
Eventually, I was close enough to reality to move from my perch where I had been just staring at the water flowing into the drain. I decided it was a good idea to turn off the water, so I reached for the knob and was SLAMMED with reality as I pushed in the knob. The knob didn't budge. It had been off the whole time and I had been hallucinating both the visual and audio aspects of the water flowing into the drain. Whoa.
Accepting reality again and truly beliving that I was back took only seconds, but it felt like I had been gone for hours. Total elapsed time from beginning to end of trip? 12 minutes.
DMT is not a substance to be messed with. Nothing can prepare you for what you may experience (trust me, I'm verrrry well seasoned, and I still almost shit myself) and no words exist for the intense parts. Be your own judge.